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Dear Santa


Dear Santa,

I know, I know. I’m a little old to be writing you a letter, but I’ve been very good this year. Well, reasonably good. Most of the time. Usually.

Anyway, I’m writing not only for myself, but on the behalf of college students everywhere. We work crazy hard all semester, and have a few little requests that would be very exciting to find under our (miniature, plastic) Christmas trees:

  1. Textbooks that don’t cost more than I make in a month. I LOVE books, but am not really sure why I have to pay $200 for the latest edition (2014 edition! Now with three new commas!) And while you’re at it, books that won’t require us to undergo chiropractic surgery from toting them around would be nice, too.
  2. Thicker walls. In the dorms, the apartments, wherever. As much as I love hearing my neighbors’ karaoke renditions of Whitney Houston at 2 AM, sometimes it can be a wee bit distracting. Or you know, just not being able to hear it every time their phones vibrate would be lovely.
  3. Some form of adorable, fluffy animal to play with when the stress gets too much
  4. An extra hour or two built into each day for
    1. Napping
    2. Netflix
    3. Reading
    4. Playing outside
    5. Or anything else that isn’t doing homework. Seriously, destress time would be lovely!
  5. An unlimited supply of reasonably healthy and extremely delicious meals and snacks, available on demand. I feel like this one is pretty self-explanatory. What student has time (or space) to cook between all the papers, readings and studying?
  6. An end to the apparent magical system whereby professors seem to collude to make everything due on the same day. Some spacing, please.
  7. One free-of-penalty skip day card. Because sometimes when it is cold and dark and you have five classes and work, getting out of bed is just too much.

I love college most of the time, Santa dear—I have great friends, amazing professors, and classes that I actually get excited about going to—but if you could just help me out with these few little suggestions, I’d be ever so grateful!




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